Becoming An Artist
As I’ve always been
I have decided to go after a dream of mine and pursue architecture. When I first started college after high school I wanted to study architecture, but I was intimidated by all the math I’d have to take. As a natural right-brained individual, the thought of several math courses was petrifying. Over time, I realized I still had a passion for design. This passion showed up in my photography, my attempt to become a seamstress, my fascination with perfectly crafted buildings, background aesthetics in all of my photos, and my concerns of sustainable environments in the future.
So, eventually I dropped out of my english program because I didn’t feel satisfied with my studies. I knew that I loved writing, but considering the fact that I had received a copywriting position without my degree, I knew I could achieve all of my editorial dreams without a degree. If I am going to be thousands in debt for an education, I want it to be an intricate subject and becoming an architect has always been a dream of mine.
I was out of school for two years before I realized I still wanted to study architecture oh so badly because I consistently thought about it in everyday activities; when I traveled, went to museums, or even saw city skylines. And then I finally enrolled in a community college to get my associates degree while I began figuring out how I’d achieve this yearning desire.
I’m almost finished with my Associates program and have been sketching a lot more, creating a lot more, and navigating my way through this identity switch.
“Wow, I’m really becoming an artist” I think to myself as I looked through my sketchbook filled with amateur drawings. I have started putting together my architecture portfolio for this fall and I’m so nervous about all that is happening.
I’ve always been a writer and creative person, so becoming more analytical is something I never saw for myself. Until I realized, I must acquire more methodical mindset to learn the skill of designing blueprints. Plus, I can still be a writer. I can do both, it’s not impossible. There’s a secret limiting belief within me that feels the need to only focus on one or the other, when in fact, I can do both. I’ve learned so much about myself through all of this and I’m only twenty-six.
Truth is… I’m scared
But I won’t let fear stop me from attaining everything I want out of life, whether the outside world is falling apart or not, my world isn’t. I wrote this article to express my feelings about this journey and shift happening in my life. I hadn’t completed an article since December because I was feeling stuck, like an imposter or something, like I abandoned something I love because I started something else. I attempted to write a couple of articles, but something in me couldn’t finish them, and it hurt me to experience a lack of passion. I still love to write because it feels like free therapy, but I must continue to write about all that is happening for and to me. Right now, I’m becoming not only a literary artist, but a visual artist too.
It feels amazing. It feels like I’m fulfilling my dreams and I love that for me.
Always,
Sunny ❤
